The Writer’s Voice: How Men and Women Fit

On today’s segment of The Writer’s Voice, we’re going to be doing things a bit differently by first taking a few words from our featured author for today, Christoffel Sneijders.
Why do I think it is groundbreaking what I bring in this book? 
It is rocking new science about how to connect better with people (partner, siblings, kids, parents, friends and colleagues) based the science of the 3 Brains theory.
This 3 Brains theory is THE game changer in how we interact as people. It has all the ingredients to improve relationships from a totally different scientific angle & transform the world for better, it is demystifying that we are from Venus and Mars. So no excuses anymore.
I wonder if you ever heard about the 3 Brains theory; the logical Head Brain, the “US” connector Heart Brain and  the ‘ME” survival Gut Brain. This last one the killer of every relationship if it is in command.
As said the 3 Brain theory is unique, groundbreaking will assist for creating more gender equality by transforming masculinity/femininity into Head/Gut/Heart Brain behaviour and sends out a signal about how we could educate children and people more in a compassionate way instead of bullying or competition. In therapy it creates changes that sometimes are beyond my believes.
 
Bookc .jpg
How MEN & WOMEN FIT, finally understand your partner with the 3 Brains theory brings a revolutionary new way of looking at interpersonal relationships and how we as men and women can change our communication and social skills. 
 
The 3 Brains theory (Head, Heart and Gut Brain) it is based upon connecting research that is done over the last 70 years. How our brains developed from early times, how they make decision and even more important in which hierarchy and how they communicate with each other. 
 
In this book you will discover how our 3 brains determine your and yours partners life, how they are in charge of our emotions, decisions, communication, listening skills and how we handle conflicts. So actually, how successful, meaningful and happy/healthy all of your relationships are. 
 
You will understand how our Head Brain provides us with logic and creativity, how our Heart Brain is the connector with other people and “drives” us with emotions like love, hatred and compassion and last but not least how our Gut Brain is in command of our survival and therefore, is able to overrule the other two. It is the “ME’ Brain. This is the killer of a healthy relationship if it is in command. 
 
I guide you through the 5 reasons why we are actually setup for having troubled relationships:
Reason One: We misunderstand how our Minds (1 vs 3 brains) Really Work Reason Two: Our Gut and Heart Brain disagree about “ME” and” US” in Making Decisions Reason Three: The Equality Problem: We have been taught to dominate or to submit
Reason Four: Gender Stereotypes: The Mars/Venus fallacy, the Hoax of Feminine and Masculine Traits
Reason Five: We Underestimate the Power of Trauma/Abuse and Bullying
 
And more important how to overcome those in the 17 rules and solutions for dealing with the 3 Brains. 
 
Furthermore I touch the topic how our 3 brains develop in children and teenagers and how to deal with that. 
Just like the topic we all like to know to how our 3 Brans are connected with sex or love making. 
 
We can all learn what our preference is, and also recognize which is our partner’s, friend’s, colleague’s or manager’s dominant brain. 
 
The beauty is we can educate our 3 Brains, they are not set in stone. My promise: Happy Healthy Relationships are possible
 
 
What made me so passionated to broadcast this message?
My personal experience how we can mess up relationships although we think we know so much and how it can have a massive effect on our life.
I am a coach/therapist with a lot of experience and still was part of a some horrible breakups and went into depression after my emigration to Australia. As within one year after emigration I was divorced my partner who ran away with someone else, paying her rent for our dream house (we could not sell it), was jobless, had no savings, could not afford going back to Holland where my kids were living, and I knew nobody in Perth. I was dealing with the severe depression and anxiety. 
I know how it feels and my passion is to educate people to do this better. 
 
A bit about me, Christoffel Sneijders
I work as hypnotherapist and also have my own School to teach this in Australia. 
I also work as an executive coach, trainer and facilitator in Leadership Development in Europe and last but not least as an associate professor in leadership and organisation at the IE Business School in Madrid. 
In my free time I love to sport, swimming or biking. I also love reading, follow all the news, understanding all what is going on regarding politics and powers of influencing. I was always curious to understand all the influencing dynamics.
Besides that, helping people to get back on their feet, what fits perfectly with the jobs I have.
 

 

What an introduction. Now we at The E-book Review have questions, like, does writing energize or exhaust you?

Both one one had it energise me to write new ideas and share the message secondly as I am dyslexic it is taking a lot of energy to do it properly. 
 

What are common traps for aspiring writers?

For me being enthusiastic about the message I like to share and less thin king what does the reader wants to read, I hired 2 editors to help me with this dilemma. 
Secondly structure how do you present you story and how do you make it compelling for the reader,. 
 
 

How long did it take you to write your book 

From Idea to finish 2 years 
The first year was thinking about it and how to do it and after 6 moths I started over again after some advice. Started to write it as a therapy book and I receive multiple advices frust a popular book then a therapy version 
 

What is your favorite scene from your book

 
The start of the chapter gut brain 
 
It confronts us all with our selfish part that is so important and on the some moment so in the way top have a healthy relationship…

Gut people: the seagull, the adaptor and survivor

The Gut Brain is the most selfish part of you or anyone else. It is tremendously sensitive to anything that might become a safety problem — like a loss of status or being treated unfairly. The first thing to understand about people who are dominated by their Gut Brains is that it really is all about them. If you can also be all about them, you are welcome into their selfish world.

Let’s be frank. People who are dominated by their Gut Brains are no picnic. And they are everywhere. You can’t escape them. Seven or eight of the next ten men that you pass on the street, and two or three of the next ten women, are dominated by the most selfish, aggressive, short-sighted, and stubborn of our three Brains. Next time you walk to your work or school, just have a look around and observe the faces of the people on the street. Most of them are focused on going from A to B and are only thinking of getting there (Gut Brain) and not on interacting at all. And let’s not mention when you are in public transport or in a café and people are totally ‘Me’ focused on their smartphone.

What messes up our Gut Brain? The question should be, ”What doesn’t?” Every upsetting experience we ever had, from bad parenting decisions, to misguided school discipline and negative stereotypes, are encoded into the Gut Brain’s capacious, but unsophisticated, permanent memory. Every painful or traumatic memory of abusive bosses and schoolyard bullies join them there. No slight or humiliation is too small for the Gut Brain to let go of. Gut Brains only think in the present tense. A wound from decades ago feels as if it is happening right now.

How do you handle writer’s block?

I don’t.
I go for a walk or for a swim, that physical activity stops all there other thoughts I have and makes my mind clear, Most of the times the ideas pop in. 
 
Warm Regards, 
 
Christoffel.
Enjoyed the post, drop a like, have questions, drop a comment, and don’t forget to share this post.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.